Stalked by the Uh-Oh Lizard

From the moment I arrived at Justin’s place in Jogja, this little bastard has taunted me with its knowledge of my future.

The Uh-Oh Lizard* calls out in the night with its croaking sing-song: “Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh,” over and over, until a final, crestfallen “UH—ohhhh.”

I have not yet caught a glimpse of the Uh-Oh Lizard, but it follows me to every guest house, and I relocate every few days. In one place it even uh-oh’s me from within the room … and then leaves enormous lizard poops on the floor at the foot of my bed.

Early this morning the Uh-Oh Lizard is out there again, chiming in above the frogs and the chickens. So this will be the soundtrack to my final days in paradise: an unseen, reptilian Cassandra singing me home to my doom with a last, prescient, “UH—ohhhh.”

Except I still have a functioning ATM card, so not today, you evil lizard, and not tomorrow.


*Not to be confused with the Horrifying Uh-Oh Baby in the comic strip Cul de sac

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Someone might want to rethink the name for this homestay.