An open letter of apology

Dear tuk-tuk driver:

Last Friday I contracted your services to transport me north to Lam Duan restaurant, for khao soi. You knew my destination and my purpose.

When we arrived at somewhere-or-other next to Wat Fa Ham and I expressed confusion, you replied: "Lam Duan closed. I take you another place." I reacted rashly and now regret my behavior.

Other foods at Khao Soi Smir Jai

What I did not realize until yesterday, when I returned to the area, is that you had brought me to an even better restaurant, Khao Soi Smir Jai, just up the road from Lam Duan. I ate at both places and Smir Jai, a local favorite, was easily superior.

You tried to do the right thing, which will get you drummed out of the tuk-tuk collective. For your good intentions, which I misinterpreted, you have my word that I will not kill you after all.

Kind regards,

William J. Landers


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After three days in the tourist barrio of Chiang Mai's northeast inner moat, I've seen all I care to see and am ready to move on. This comes as a terrible blow to the Tri Gong Residence owner, a kindly old gent who wants me to stay with him forever. He knows that I was looking at apartments yesterday and is already insecure about our relationship.

"I give you good deal on special bigger room," he pleads, looking up at me so hopefully. "10,000 baht a month." I shake my head, smiling, and thank him for his hospitality as I ease toward the door. Best to end these things quick and clean.

The guest house I'm sweet on now is up near Wat Fa Ham, a mile or so outside the moat, called Hollanda Montri. It sounds like the name of a femme fatale in a Bogart mystery, and indeed this Hollanda Montri is soon exposed as a cruel deceiver hiding a black heart: the nicely cropped photos on its website tell one story, the tatty reality quite another. And now that I think of it, the website never really showed pictures of the rooms, which turn out to have all the charm of a medium-security lockup. One night and I am outathere.

This is like online dating: never trust the pictures.

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I encounter this intrepid Euro family on a street outside the moat. Kudos to them for taking on such an adventure with two small kidlets. The boy is chattering away and seems to be having the time of his life. But the dad looks and sounds a little frazzled.

This evening I will meet up with Expat Nick, the friend of a friend who has lived in Chiang Mai for some time, to learn more about living in Thailand.

There has got to be a comedy bit in this setup.