Still an asshole

Flash back more than 25 years to a reunion party for the old Lake Oswego Review newspaper staff, circa mid-1980s. Most of us then are still on good terms (and some will remain close friends well into the future), but one or two folks left the paper under layoff-y circumstances. I witness one socially awkward moment between the editor's wife and an ex-photographer and am tactless enough to chide her about it a few minutes later. Smiling icily, she responds: "I see you're still an asshole!"

Tis true, I nod; always have been, always will be. But she has already walked away.

---

It is three days before Loi Krathong and well into high season, but Chiang Mai is curiously devoid of tourists. The night bazaar at Anusan Market has more vendors than shoppers, and many booths are empty -- not enough business to make it worth opening. Even the lady-boy revue is closed for the evening. Lian has no customers, so we take time to stop at an open-air coffee shop for refreshments and people-watching. Lian, who is now a teetotaler, sips a lemonade while I sharpen my wits on a surprisingly potent mai tai.

Suddenly before us, a ruckus: A lanky old fellow stumbles on the uneven asphalt and pitches violently forward, flailing to regain his footing. Three off-balance steps and down he goes -- but he manages to protect his expensive-looking digital camera, which he holds at arm's length above his splayed body.

The man's family rushes to his aid and the mai tai, speaking through me, tries to lighten the moment: "At least the camera's OK, right?" But no one is amused. In wide-eyed horror, the man's wife wheels around to me and admonishes: "He has two artificial knees and an artificial hip!"

Launching fire into trees.

"Oh," I stammer. "Uh, that's different. My apologies." I can barely watch the poor fellow hobble away, leaning against his loved ones.

(Long sigh.)

Deanna Kelly, wherever you are, you sure called it a quarter-century ago. But honest, I'm trying to get better.

---

Selling floral krathongs to honor the water spirits.

So Loi Krathong happened. That's the big Thai celebration honoring the water spirits during which people release buoyant floral decorations onto rivers. People also try to burn down the city by launching fire lanterns into the air and detonating blasting cap-sized firecrackers, even in crowds.

Fireworks above the Iron Bridge.

Loi Krathong is one of those festivals that's pretty cool the first time -- especially the night sky theatrically aglow with orange fire lanterns -- but I can see how it might get old after a few years. "Every year many people, and BOOM BOOM all night, make me bore," says Lian.  Glad to hear it: maybe next year we can be in America for Thanksgiving instead.

Many ornate floats, multiple parades.